The Most Temporally Logical Kind of Trip
Donald Trump was interviewed a few days ago by conservative talk show host Hugh Hewitt, some 20 months after his most recent call-in with conservative talk show host Lars Larson. (Still no word on whether he’ll have time in his campaign schedule for up-and-coming conservative talk show host Butt Butler.)
During his vigorous exploration of the GOP nominee’s nuanced foreign policy platform, Hewitt asked about the situation in Gaza, to which Trump replied:
“It has the best location in the Middle East, the best water, the best everything. It’s got… it is the best. I’ve said it for years. I’ve been there, and it’s rough. It’s a rough place.”
The gist of his assertion is that it’s a wonderful, shitty area of the world.
But, of course, the liberal media just couldn’t leave well enough alone. Instead of complimenting him on the coherence of his TripAdvisor review, they all rushed to quibble with the minor detail of his never having been to Gaza. Fortunately, campaign spokesperson Karoline Leavitt put them right in their place:
“President Trump has been to Gaza previously and has always worked to ensure peace in the Middle East.”
I myself would have said, “President Trump has been to Gaza and has always worked to ensure peace in the Middle East.” But that’s why I’m a lowly student and not yet a master of communication. Imagine having the foresight to anticipate the follow-up question of “Oh yeah, Karoline? Well has he been there previously or was it in the future?” Now imagine having Karoline’s keen understanding of how time works and anticipating it before they asked it rather after the fact, which is what she did and why she included the word ‘previously’, thereby preventing them from hitting her with the gotcha question. (Chills.)
And not for nothing, but how do we know that Trump has always worked to ensure peace in the Middle East? Because that sounds a lot better than making it worse, therefore it’s what he has done. Q.E.D.
Anyways, watch out, Steven Cheung — you may have some competition for White House Press Secretary after all!